Finding Joy after a Pregnancy Loss

So after a very difficult loss and diagnoses with a Partial Molar Pregnancy in August 2017 (Read about it HERE), we decided to try to conceive again in December 2017. This was after 3 monthly negative hCg tests, as recommended by leading research from USA, and not 6 -12 monthly draws, as recommended by my Gynecologist in Cape Town.

We were very happy to conceive the first month of trying and could do the pregnancy urine test Christmas morning. I was tracking my cycle from the first month after my D&C with the Ovia Fertility App. And the app tells you when you can do a pregnancy test.

It was a lovely little Christmas gift, but I had already suspected I might be pregnant due to having a few early pregnancy symptoms.

I had read on the support group I was on, how anxious the ladies were after finding out they were pregnant after a molar pregnancy. I felt surprisingly calm. I think the craziness of the holiday season contributed to this, because my mind was focused on other things. There was little time to be anxious and overthink, because we were away on holiday.

As the time drew closer to our first scan and checkup at my new Gynecologist, I was a little more anxious and scared that I might not see a little bean and a heart beating.
My new Gyne was just what my soul needed. She was reassuring and positive and encouraging. And we were ecstatic to see a wiggly little nugget, with a strong heartbeat, who was measuring ahead of my initial due date. This gave me the hope I needed.

At about 11/12 weeks of pregnancy my anxiety has sky-rocketed again. It’s effecting my sleep, stress-levels and daily life. I had to very consciously focus on the things to give me joy for this pregnancy. The following things helps me to find joy:

• INTEND POSITIVE THOUGHTS

Think positive thoughts only. Willfully make the decision to stop the moment when a negative thought enters your mind, and replace it with a positive one. Find a mantra/saying that will help you. Write it down/type it out and place it all over your everyday world e.g. bathroom mirror, car radio, bedside table, fridge etc. The more you see it, the more positive vibes you will attract.

© Lizelle Krige Photography

• INTEND GRATITUDE 

Do not let anxiety and fear steal the joy of this special time. Be grateful for every experience, scan, stranger asking silly questions and even every pregnancy symptom (even the nausea 😉 ) It sounds easy to say it, but really is’nt always so easy. This is very much a decision to live differently and INTEND gratitude throughout your day.

• FIND MUSIC/MEDITATION THAT SPEAKS TO YOU

I found Pregnancy Meditation by Catherine Stone, exceptionally helpful to help me focus on the good and happy. But meditation isn’t for everyone. Find a song or music that will help you focus on the positive and listen to it often.

• TAKE IT DAY-BY-DAY

Take it day-by-day or even hour-by-hour. Focus on the now. Do not let worry creep in and taint your pregnancy. At the end of the day, be thankful for that day, no matter how tough it was. And remind yourself how privileged you are to have this experience.

Some days are definitely harder than other. And that is okay.
Just always keep on swimming.